Letting Go Of The Past

I love to write.  I have about six complete journals that are full of my random ramblings and thoughts and what not.  I've written well over 50 songs and poems; if I like a particular poem or song from a book, I'll write it down and store it in a folder.  I've written several short stories, and I'm almost done with one longer short story, and I've started writing at least two full length books.  I love to write.

Now is my writing the best?  Probably not, but the few things I've shared with people have been commended which is certainly encouraging.  But the one thing I've always wanted to do as a writer is to write a book.  Like I said before,  I've started at least two, though I've had ideas for others that just never really panned out.  I started writing those two books when I was in high school, well over five years ago.  I've gone back and forth between them for years now, struggling to write them, seeking advice and ideas, but in the end I would always reach a point where I was too discouraged to continue and so would shelve them once again.  To give you an idea of how hard they were to write, in probably close to six years with the first one, I've written about three chapters.  In four or five years for the second one, I've written one chapter.

Power of a Smile

Earlier this evening while out running some errands I decided to pick up dinner at Dion's.  Not necessarily the best choice, but I really wanted a Dion's salad so I went.  I called in my order as I was heading over then decided to just go through the drive-thru as that was faster than going in.  Now I'll admit that I get Dion's food more than I probably should, so I generally know the couple of girls who are typically on drive-thru when I happen to drop by.

In any case, when I pulled up it was one of the girls that I recognized.  I smiled at her, chatted for a moment, then told her my order.  As she was ringing me up, she suddenly stuck her head out the window and asked me if I would like a drink on the house.  Now I have been going to Dion's since I was kid and I have never once had anyone ask me if I wanted a free drink.  I think she could tell I was kind of shocked cause she laughed and said she was offering because I was one of the nicest customers she had ever served and I always smiled and said thank you.  She said that it was surprising how few people did that and that I had made her night by coming by and being so friendly.  I accepted the drink and she got it for me, gave me my food, and after thanking her, I headed for home.

On the drive home I thought about what had happened.  I was still kind of surprised.  I hadn't been trying to be super friendly or anything, it just seemed natural to be polite and to smile.  I was glad though that that simple gesture had touched her and had made her night better.  It just reminded me that even the smallest gesture of kindness can affect someone, can touch their heart.  I think its a good reminder for all of us.  A smile can seem like such a little thing and oftentimes not worth putting out the effort to do, but I think the effects are well worth the effort. =)

Devil:1, Me:0/For the Love of Teddy

So, this is kind of a double entry about two separate things that also connect.  I could make it into two separate entries, but its almost 1 in the morning, so I'm probably being a bit lazy.  It shouldn't be too confusing though.

So earlier tonight I decided that I wanted to journal about how amazing last night was.  It was just one of those nights that you want to remember forever and want to be able to look back on in the future.  This was different for me.  I used to journal all the time, but for about a year now, I haven't journaled at all.  It used to be just a part of my daily life.  At the end of the day, I would journal about what I'd done, what had happened, things that were on mind, people, etc.  It was just a ritual that came naturally.  Oh, and every one of those entries started with, "Dear, God".  So even if I had forgotten to read my Bible that day or had failed to make the time for it, I still had that time at night when I spent thirty minutes to an hour talking to God and just spending time with Him.  I always enjoy that time because not only was it a good way to vent when I needed to get something off my chest, but I also loved the feeling of just being able to completely open up to someone and have them listen and not have to worry that if I told Him this or that, He was going to reject me.

Dance in the Moonlight

As a child, one of the things I loved about living in Albuquerque, was having a big grassy lawn.  I loved running around barefoot, playing and wrestling with my dog, occasionally star gazing, and just simply laying there doing nothing.  But one of the things I loved most was when the moon was full or almost full, I would go outside and I would dance around barefoot in the moonlight.  I loved how the moon lit everything up with its white light, I loved the whole new perspective it gave to the world.  It was beautiful.

What Would You Choose?

I recently added a new show to my rather short list of tv shows that I watch:  Grey's Anatomy.  I've never gotten into any kind of medical drama before, I typically prefer crime dramas like Castle, CSI, etc.  Still a rather interesting string of circumstances led to be beginning to watch the show and I quickly became hooked.  That being said I am already about halfway through season 6.  Now the way the shows begin and end typically is with a narration from one of the lead characters, Meredith, foreshadowing the theme of the episode.  This is one of my favorite parts of the show because sometimes those narrations are so insightful and true.  But, naturally, they can't put everything into those few moments, so often times there are other things in the show that catch my attention.  Tonight was no exception.

This Is My Body, Deal With It

Have you ever had those days where you feel like something's changed about yourself?  There's that subtle little difference.  Something that used to really bother you suddenly isn't such a big deal.  That person you couldn't stand suddenly isn't quite as bad as you thought.  Yesterday was my day for that change.  It wasn't big and flashy, it was just a moment of, you know what, who cares!

Let me explain a bit more.  It was pretty simple.  I was making homemade macaroni and cheese and discovered that we were basically out of milk which is a fairly key ingredient to making macaroni and cheese.  At that point I had a choice:  I could run to the store and pick up some milk or I could abandon my cooking endeavors.  For most people it'd be a fairly simple choice to simply run over to the store, grab a gallon of milk and run home.  For me?  Well, not so much.  Here's the thing, I don't go anywhere, and I do mean anywhere, without my hair or makeup done.  So to make a simple five minute run to the store for milk, it typically takes me at least thirty minutes to get ready because I have to get a shower, do my hair and makeup, and find something reasonably attractive to wear.  Yeah, pretty sad and pathetic, but true.

Clean? Yeah, right!

I recently started using this music program called Spotify.  Its pretty cool cause I find pretty much any songs that I want and then organize them into playlists.  Its quite convenient for when I'm working on my computer or just doing something in my room and I want to listen to a specific set of songs.  Over the last couple of days I've been organizing and expanding my collection of songs.  One of those collections is what I call my "edgy" songs, basically songs that have cussing in them, talk about drinking and drugs, etc.  They're not the best songs, but I do like to listen to them on occasion.  As I was looking for one of those songs, I saw that there was a "clean" edition available.  So, I was like, cool, I can still listen to this song I like but without the cussing.

I Still Remember

 Last night I was watching an episode of my favorite tv show, a crime drama called Castle.  During part of it, a suspect in a murder investigation gives the cops his alibi for the time when it was believed that his brother killed his own wife who the suspect had dated in the past.  In giving his alibi, he describes where he was that night in great detail from the name of the waiter to the drink he ordered later at a bar, saying, "When something like that happens, its burned into your brain.  Every detail..."

The Influence of the Media

So I've been sick with some kind of stomach bug the last few days which means that I've spent a lot of time just randomly browsing the internet for anything that might catch my eye.  So most people know that two big events happened recently.  The first was the tragic shooting at the Batman premiere in Aurora, Co. that killed twelve people and left many others injured.  The second was the news that Kristen Stewart, star of the Twilight movies, had an affair with the director of her summer movie Snow White and The Huntsman.  Thinking about, even for just a moment, the first event seems to be the one that would garner the most media attention as it was without a doubt the most shocking and tragic.  Families and friends enjoying a movie together suddenly found themselves in the middle of what surely felt like a horror movie they never wanted to be a part of.  In the end twelve people were dead.  A father taking his kids to the movie, a 27 year old man hanging out with co-workers on his birthday, a soldier on a date night with is girlfriend, and perhaps most tragic of all, a little 12 year old girl having a night out with her mother.  The event rocked our country, causing fear and shock that what felt like a safe place of enjoyment and entertainment could turn deadly in a moment.  People were even more shocked when the shooter was revealed:  a young man with a high IQ, no criminal record, and no past history of violence.  There were numerous articles in various magazines, in the local paper, online.  The news seemed to talk about it constantly as well with new facts seeming to emerge daily.  It continued for about a week or so and then a new story broke and it disappeared.

A Single Shard

Is it weird that one of my all-time favorite books is considered a children's book?  Probably, but to be perfectly honest, I don't care.  A story about a young boy who's greatest wish is to learn how to throw clay and create a pot on his own potter's wheel, the reader is drawn into his world where life is difficult, but also happy and full of opportunity if one is willing to work hard, where perseverance is eventually rewarded, and where a single celadon shard can change someone's destiny.