Now is my writing the best? Probably not, but the few things I've shared with people have been commended which is certainly encouraging. But the one thing I've always wanted to do as a writer is to write a book. Like I said before, I've started at least two, though I've had ideas for others that just never really panned out. I started writing those two books when I was in high school, well over five years ago. I've gone back and forth between them for years now, struggling to write them, seeking advice and ideas, but in the end I would always reach a point where I was too discouraged to continue and so would shelve them once again. To give you an idea of how hard they were to write, in probably close to six years with the first one, I've written about three chapters. In four or five years for the second one, I've written one chapter.
I love stories with mythological creatures, magic, amazing places, and fascinating characters, stories that are typically set far apart from our world. Stories where anything can happen, where a little hobbit will set out on a great journey, where a common boy will discover that he's a dragon rider, where a girl whose family is ashamed of her for her talent is discovered by those who will let her shine, where an ordinary boy finds out that he's a wizard. Those are the stories that really matter to me, that inspire me, and those are the kinds of stories that I want emulate. I want to write a story that will inspire people, that will transport them to whole other world. So you can imagine my disappointment when I simply couldn't get anywhere with my first story, when I reached chapter three and hit a dead end. Cause that story was the one I really wanted to write. Inspired by Eragon and Anne McCaffrey's Dragon Riders of Pern, my story was about the last dragon riders of a struggling world. The main characters were based off of me and my two best friends at the time and the secondary characters were based on the guys each of us had liked at the time. But like I said I hit a dead end.
My second story was actually set in the normal world. There wasn't any fantastical about it whatsoever. I'd taken certain events from my life and started to craft a story, but once again I hit a dead end after writing just one chapter. Since then I haven't really tried to write any other books. I've focused on my song writing, but writing a full-length book has still been something I really wanted to do. I've prayed about it occasionally, not very seriously I'll admit, just kind of a, hey, if you want to throw me a story idea that'd be great, thanks. Well, a couple of nights ago, I think God answered that prayer.
Now normally I don't remember what I've dreamed about the night before, or if I do, its very garbled and makes zero sense. But a couple of nights ago I had a very unique, very clear dream. Okay, it wasn't unique, it was straight up weird, but also very intriguing. I didn't think much of it, but I could recall certain aspects of the dream perfectly. Last night I couldn't sleep at all. It was almost three in the morning and I was laying in my bed staring at the ceiling, willing myself to sleep. As I was laying there, I started thinking about the dream and subconsciously I started to flesh it out, to give it more background, the develop the characters a bit more, give them more depth, and in a very short period of time, I had a summary of a rather interesting story in my head. I promptly grabbed my computer and wrote it down, and then continued to generally add a little bit more here and there. And once again, in a very short period of time I had a very general outline. I was surprised because it had been effortless, unlike my other stories where I would sit for several hours and come up with maybe a sentence or two if I was lucky and nothing if I wasn't. And it was a story full of magic and strange creatures and people.
As I looked over my outline I tried to figure out why I couldn't do this with my other stories. What was it about them that had so held me back? And then it hit me. In both cases I was trying to continue to write something from the same perspective I had had four to six years ago. My plans and outlines had been weak even back then, but the passing of the years and the changes I have gone through have rendered them completely useless, obsolete. With my first book I was trying to develop relationships between the main and secondary characters that no longer existed and in some cases didn't want to think about or revisit. My second book was similar in that some of the key events that in my life that I was putting into the story were ones that I simply wanted to forget or at least didn't want to revisit. I think in both cases when I started writing that it would be easier in terms of the characters if I had people to base them off of. As it turns out, I was wrong. It didn't help me at all, in fact, it did the exact opposite. In basing my characters off of real people I severely limited myself in terms of what I could do with them. With this new book that I've started, I can make my characters whoever I want them to be because they are truly born of my imagination.
It was an interesting revelation of how I was still stuck in parts of my past, things I didn't want to forgive even after several years, things that on occasion still made me feel bitter. I still felt those things because I kept revisiting the events that triggered them or made me think of them over and over in my books. No matter how much you want to forget something or forgive someone or let something go, it can be very difficult if you keep thinking about it in detail which is exactly what I was doing with my books.
As I put them away for the final time I felt a sense of peace, of release, almost as if some kind of painful poking had suddenly stopped except I hadn't realized it was painful until it was gone. Don't hold onto things of the past that don't uplift or help you. All that does is make you bitter and it has the potential of causing a lot of damage. Let those things go, I can guarantee you'll feel a lot better.
If you're looking for a good place to share your stories and get feedback, might I suggest Figment.com? :) It's really awesome, and you might like it! Just a suggestion. ^_^
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