The Only Thing Holding Me Back, Is Me

As I said a few posts ago, I just started my new job a few days ago and while it is one of the most difficult jobs I have had to do just emotionally as well as mentally, it is also the most fun job I have ever had.  Being able to talk to people just one on one and not have to be rushed or be trying to keep a million things straight in my head is just so wonderful.  Also not coming home with my feet aching from standing on them for hours at a time or my back killing me from constantly bending over and lifting heavy buckets or trays is just such a blessing.  I can tell you that my intake of ibuprofen has at least been halved.  But while all of that is amazing, this job has truly forced me to go outside my comfort zone.  Calling people I barely know and asking them to let me come into their house to show them a product is just uncomfortable for me.  So getting the courage to press the send button on my cell phone has become a real challenge.  Also trying not to get discouraged when I don't make a sale is hard.  A lot of people know that I have some self-esteem issues so when I don't make a sale, I just automatically start to kick myself and call myself a failure.  Yeah, I am definitely not my own biggest fan.

So by the end of my first weekend, I was already looking for another job, sure in my mind that I could never make this one work despite the fact that it seemed so perfect.  About halfway through looking at one page of jobs, I stopped and basically gave myself the lecture of my life.  I was not going to give up on this.  Yeah, it was hard, but this was something I was determined to succeed at.  So, I shut down my computer without another glance.  The other part though that encouraged me to keep going is just the incredible people I work with who are so encouraging.  But while they are encouraging they also push me to do my best.  Now pretty much anyone who knows me knows that I am very competitive and that's the other thing that drives me.  I'm competing with who knows how many people to make the most sales.  And the final but possibly most important aspect that drives me are my dreams.  One of the things my manager told my training class was to find what she calls a "pump it up" song.  Basically just a song that gets us excited and encourages us to do our best and that we can do it.  Well, I actually have two and just real quick I want to share those two songs.

The first song just encourages me to keep my eye on the prize and just to rise to the occasion.  The second song is kind of my defiance song.  Its one of the few songs I have ever heard that just so perfectly describes me and the situation I'm in.  This song just reminds me to keep going, to keep pursuing my dreams despite the fact that almost everyone I know tells me that I'll never be able to reach them.

So that was a bit off track, but there you go.  Basically the more I'm getting into this job and running out of people I know really well to call, the more I'm finding that the only person standing between me and really succeeding at this job, is me.  I'm the only person who can truly hold me back from reaching my dreams, from making this all work.  So while it is hard at times, I just keep reminding myself that I can do this and keep telling myself to look to the future.  And then I think how awesome its going to be when I reach my dreams and show every person who doubted me that, yes, I can do it.