Over the past year or so I've been really struggling with my faith, just doubting a lot and being angry at God for various things that have happened. I've felt abandoned and hurt a lot and I turned a lot of that anger towards God. But today I was reminded and shown that God does see me and He does care about me.
I quit my job at a local tearoom a month or so ago and have been out of a job since. Along with that decision to quit my job there, I also decided to quit college. Whether permanently or temporarily I'm still not sure and will have to see what happens in the future. With those decisions I started looking for a full time job. However, with pursuing an acting career, a full time schedule was going to be hard since calls to act as an extra are very sudden and times for rehearsals for a play can vary. For several weeks I filled out applications and sent out e-mails with my resume attached and basically got nothing back, until yesterday.
A few days back I was having trouble sleeping so I ended up just getting up and looking for jobs online. I ended up coming across a site with the Albuquerque Journal with over 42 pages of job listings. There were several that sounded good, so once again I sent out resumes and wrote down phone numbers. At that point though I was feeling discouraged and frustrated. I've worked almost exclusively in the food industry with a few other short term jobs thrown in, but I had no experience in retail, in sales, in filing or other tasks like that, in much of anything really. So on Monday I started making phone calls and filling out applications. I was once again disappointed when two of the calls I tried to make didn't go through, one due to a full mailbox and the other due to a busy signal. Tuesday was much the same until one of the calls finally went through and in a matter of 10 minutes I had an interview for the next morning.
I could hardly sleep because I was so nervous. I hadn't had an interview in over a year! So when I woke up this morning, I was tired from lack of sleep and wired at the same time. I always hate getting ready for interviews and other similar interactions because I never know what to wear. Is this too fancy? Is this too casual? Does this go together? And so on and so forth. In the end though I figured out what I would wear and got myself together. Getting to the office was easy and I was there a full thirty minutes before I was supposed to. So I read for about ten minutes then headed inside. I was greeted by a very friendly lady, given an application to fill out and within fifteen minutes had my initial interview with the sales manager. Following that he gave an hour long presentation to me and two other girls about the company, the product we would be selling, the pay rate, the training and the perks. The more I listened, the more amazed I was. This was exactly what I was looking for! I would make my own schedule and work as much or as little as I wanted to. The potential pay if I was working even just part time was more than I had made at my last job and the amount I could make over the summer alone was more than all that I had made in the year I worked at my previous job as well. So I was very excited and very nervous as I waited for him to call my name for a post-presentation interview. He called one of the girls first and she left shortly thereafter. He then called both me and the other girl into the office. Immediately I was prepared to be disappointed. If he was going to offer me the job, I was sure he would do it privately. So since this other girl and I had both been called in, I assumed we were going to get the boot. So I was shocked when the manager offered us both the job right then and there.
Over the past year, I had given up on God, but He never gave up on me and He provided me with just what I needed.
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