So, I haven't blogged in a long time...again. A lot of that has been because although there is a lot of stuff that's going on in my life right now, major stuff, I'm not allowed to talk about it quite yet. So, I'll just talk about some of the things I've been learning from it.
So, yeah, there are some very major changes going on in my life right now and I will fully admit that I hate it and I mean really hate it. It's been feeling like my world's coming apart, like I'm being torn apart inside. Most of that is due to myself and the fact that I am fighting tooth and nail against all that's happening.
For most of my family, it's kind of an answer to prayer. Something was needed and God almost immediately provided it. My parents are thrilled. It's not exactly what they wanted, but it does provide for what we need. Me, well, I'm the rebel right now. Now by now I should know that arguing with God is just not going to go well, nor is having a temper tantrum. But, I guess I still have some learning to do, cause that's what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks. Because for some reason, I've felt that I know better than Him, that my ideas and thoughts out-rate His. How foolish! God and Creator of the Universe versus me, who He created in the first place. Doesn't take a genius to figure out that I was going to lose that battle.
So, now? Where exactly am I? Well, I'm not going to say that I've completely accepted what's going on. I'm still not happy with it. I still have issues with my attitude and all, but I'm working on it.
My favorite verse is Jeremiah 29:11. It talks about how God has a plan, not to harm, but to prosper. And He has said that He will never leave us or forsake us. He's said that He'll never let go. And at this point, I just have to trust that and finally surrender.
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