More and
more lately I’ve felt like I’ve been fighting for my dream alone. More and more it seems like nobody believes
in me, that I can succeed. I’ll read
things about people who talk about how there were always those people who told
them, “I believe in you.” All I get is
the “you can accomplish anything you want to but you should have a backup plan if it doesn’t work out.” Except it always sounds like they’re saying “when it doesn’t work out.” And with my complete lack of any kind of self-confidence,
every day is an exhausting battle of yes,
I can do it and forget it, I’ll never
be anything. I sometimes wonder what
I could do if even one person did tell me “I believe in you.” I get that an acting career isn’t easy to get
into, especially for someone like me, and I get that people are being practical
when they tell me to have a backup plan.
I just need that one person who’ll pretty much say, “Screw them. You can do it, I know you can. I believe in you.”
But I’ve stopped believing that’ll ever happen. The only person who will likely ever tell me that is myself. And that’s the hardest part, because I really don’t believe in myself. Maybe it’s time I started to cause unless someone believes, nothing’s going to happen. Maybe it’s time that I took one of my favorite quotes to heart and when people imply I won’t make it, just turn around and tell them, “Watch me, watch me prove you all wrong.” I’ve always been told that I shouldn’t be so stubborn, shouldn’t be so argumentative. I’m starting to think that I should be stubborn, stubborn enough to keep trying no matter how many times I fall on my butt. And when people try to argue that I can’t make it, instead of just smiling and nodding, maybe it’s time I told them that yes, I will make it. Maybe I don’t need someone to believe in me, maybe for one in my life, I just need to believe in myself. Now, watch me.
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